


How To Get Over Your Crush On A True Alpha

by all_their_intricacies



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A Self-Help Guide by Theo Raeken, Crushes, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Ratings can be found in the endnotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-05-16 22:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19327687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_their_intricacies/pseuds/all_their_intricacies
Summary: Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to get over your traumatizing experience inliteralHell and be a better person, and your brain just decides that this is a great time to developfeelingsfor a certain True Alpha? Isn’t that just the worst?Well, worry not, random person who’s reading this. Here is a 9-step guide just to help you get through all that.(Success level may vary.)





	How To Get Over Your Crush On A True Alpha

**Author's Note:**

> _For SceoWeek2019 - Day 5: Crushes & Longing._  
> This is heavily inspired by a [PJO fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644878) that I read (and translated) a while ago. It's a Nico/Jason fic, so if you're interested in that, please give it a read and send the author your love!

Step 1: Avoid him

“Out of sight, out of mind,” ever heard of that? It’s a wise saying from wise men who’ve lived through it all and learned from it. You stay away from someone; you avoid them and soon enough, they’ll be right out of your mind. You’ll forget their face, their figure, as well as all the feelings inside you that seem to have attached themselves to their name.

So, if you want to get over your crush on a certain True Alpha, the first and most important thing you have to do is to avoid him. Stay away from him. Keep your distance as far as you can manage.

Avoid him every chance you get, and in time, you’ll forget his scent—the earthy and sweet fragrance of his body wash that has been lingering on your clothes because you were standing too close to him on the last mission he asked you to help with. You’ll forget his heartbeat too—a steady rhythm that you’ve been listening too closely to, in hopes of catching a stutter in the beat that could serve as a testament that you aren’t alone in this. (You are. You’ll forever be.)

Stay away from him, and soon enough, you’ll start forgetting his face. You’ll start forgetting his cute smile, and the dimples on his cheeks when said smile gets brighter, bigger, happier. You’ll stop trying to be the reason for it. You’ll stop feeling so damn happy—even though you’ll then have to try harder to hide it—when that’s the case, when he looks at you, smiling because of something you said or because he just feels like it.

Keep your distance from him, and before you know it, he won’t be anything more than another faceless figure in your mind. Your heart won’t beat in tandem with the thoughts rushing through your mind—all carrying his name—and your ears won’t perk up every time you catch the sound of his heartbeat—his voice, his footsteps, whatever—near you.

Don’t talk to him unless you absolutely have to. Stay hidden in the corner at pack meetings—the ones that you can’t excuse yourself out of going despite your greatest effort. Make sure you are never alone with him.

Just avoid him. It’s not that hard.

 

Step 2: Hit the gas.

You don’t need to have a car to carry out this step. The title is only metaphorical; you just need a means to get out of here—a place where his presence is constant, where everything around you always seems to remind you that he’s here, that he’s been here, that he will always be here so that your thoughts will have something to cling on.

Avoiding him might have proven to be futile, so let’s take it another step further: get away from him. Get inside your car—or a train, or a bus, or hitchhike if you have to—and leave. Go to someplace far, far away from here.

However, if you _are_ using a car, you might bump into a problem such as this:

> You are driving, intention clear in your mind, and as you’re approaching the edge of town, your foot suddenly decides to release the gas and hit the brake instead—which is the opposite of what this step is suggesting you to do. It might be a conscious decision, it might not. The main point is that, it is half past midnight; you are currently sitting in your car at the edge of the town you should be leaving, fighting against yourself because there’s still a small part within you that doesn’t want to leave.

If this problem arises, here are a few things to think about, to remind yourself why leaving is the best option for you:

  * You, as you’ve been told many times in so many words, are the scum of the Earth;
  * Everybody in this town hates you;
  * Nobody wants you here;
  * No one would even care if you leave;
  * They might even cheer for it;
  * You will have a better chance to forget about him, as he will, in time, forget about you;
  * Isn’t that what you’ve been working towards?
  * Isn’t it what you truly want?



Protip: if you’re doing this step, it’s best to turn off your phone; don’t leave a mean to connect you with this place (with him).

In case of failure in this step, proceed to the next one.

 

Step 3: Reluctantly come when he calls for you

 _Reluctantly_ is the key word here. Act like you didn’t want to come, like your heart didn’t skip a beat the moment you saw his name flashing across the screen of your phone. Act like the idea of leaving and disappearing into the night didn’t immediately vanish from your mind the moment you answered his call and heard his voice asking you to come over.

Act like you didn’t hit the gas (in the way that you should have, moments before), driving way past the speed limit to get to his house as your mind spun with thoughts of what could’ve happened, what could’ve gone wrong at such a late hour of the night. Act like your stomach didn’t churn as you worried over whether or not he was alright.

Act like you didn’t feel a rush of relief when you see that he _is_ alright after all. Act like your breath didn’t catch in your throat as you look at his adorable, sleepy face, staring at you with wide eyes, bewildered at how fast you’ve come for him.

Clear your throat and mumble that you were awake, that you were nearby, and that it wasn’t at all a hassle to just stop by for help when he called. Force your heart to calm down, to not dare and skip a beat, when he smiles at you with that cute smile of his—the one that you’ve been trying to get out of your head—and says that there isn’t any danger, that he just couldn’t sleep and wanted some company.

 _Reluctantly_ accept when he invites you into his house. Don’t ask why he called you, instead of anyone else— _literally_ anyone else at all—as you’re sure you weren’t his first choice, that other people must have been asleep so he called you at last. Don’t dwell on how close he sits next to you, after he’s put on a movie that he insisted you should watch.

Mask your chemosignals, your heartbeat, the way your entire being is calling for you to reach out and pull him closer. Just sit there and act like none of this matters, like you don’t want it—the warmth of him besides you, the way he talks idly about the scenes that he likes in the movie, and more heated about the ones that he doesn’t.

Just act, and hide, and act some more. It’s what you do best, anyway. It shouldn’t be so hard for you.

 _Fake it til you make it_ , as the youths would say.

In the case that you don’t—make it, that is—move on to the next step.

 

Step 4: Dodge his questions

Since the event of Step 3, you may find that your object of infatuation has become a slight bit interested in your life. This, as you can imagine, can be quite annoying, considering how you _are_ trying to keep certain aspects of your life hidden from him. From anyone else, for that matter.

(It’s not like you’re embarrassed or anything. There are just some facts pertaining your life that a regular person might consider _tragic,_ and you really don’t want anyone making a big deal out of it, much less him.)

So, you may find yourself in situations where you have to be alone with him. Be it that he calls you over again, and again, and many more times; you come every time ( _reluctantly_ ), and it’s always just you and him. Be it on a mission, where he chooses to team up with you for some reason, instead of picking anyone else in his pack.

In those situations, you may be asked a series of questions that people in the scientific field have named as ‘Annoying Questions That Serve No Other Purpose But Making Your Life A Slight Bit Harder’, including but not limited to:

  * “How are you?”—because he genuinely wants to know;
  * “Where have you been staying?”—because he came by your old house, the one you were staying at before… _you know_ , and couldn’t find you there;
  * “Have you been sleeping well?”—because the dark circles under your eyes have become so visible after spending so many restless nights inside the uncomfortable confinement of your car;
  * “Have you been _eating_ well?”—because you made the mistake of tripping over your feet (re: sleeping in your car) and he rushed over to catch you, hugging you tight against his body and feeling how thin you’ve been getting.



Now, one reason why these questions make your life so hard—as the name suggests—is because you don’t really have an answer for any of them. Not without making it all into a big deal, and that is the opposite of what you want. So, here are a few tactics to use when faced with any of these Annoying Questions:

  * Change the subject. Ask him about his day instead. Ask him about his mom, about his plans for college, about his dream of being a veterinarian. If he’s talking about himself—or anything else, for that matter—then he can’t ask about you;
  * Roll your eyes and mumble something incomprehensible. It can be anything, really: the weather, traffic conditions, the way his hair looks so nice today, the way the morning sunlight makes his eyes seem like liquid gold. As long as he can’t make it out and thinks you’ve already answered, you’re good;
  * Don’t walk at the same pace as him. If you’re walking a great distance ahead of him, or behind him (not recommended; his ass tends to be in full view and that’s really not good at all), then he can’t look at your face if he asks, so he won’t ask at all;
  * Say something mean. Let the words slip right past your lips like jagged-edge knives and watch as they cut through his skin, darkening up his eyes and thinning his lips into a tight line.



That last tactic works the best out of all, though it might hurt a bit, almost as much as you’ve seen it hurt him, so there’s that.

 

Step 5: Let yourself be disappointed

This step shouldn’t be too hard for you, especially with the way he treats you, like you’re an actual human being, like you deserve his kindness. But he treats everyone else the same way; he makes everyone feel special just by being him, so it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that you hold a place in his heart just as he holds yours; it doesn’t mean anything that you want it to.

Don’t let yourself forget that, even as he keeps inviting you over so the two of you can watch a movie together, despite all the harsh words you’ve said to him. Even as he sits so close to you—close enough that you don’t have to reach out to touch him, that the warmth from his body alone is enough to drive you insane—and you feel so safe and content right next to him.

Don’t let it get into your head, even as you stand up to leave after the movie is over, and he takes a hold of your wrist, keeping you in place. Even as he completely blindsides you, asking you yet another one of those Annoying Questions, only this one hits you harder than any before it.

Don’t get too ahead of yourself, even as he pins you down with his determined gaze, one that demands all the attention you can muster, and asks you something like ‘why don’t you stay the night?’.

You know you have to say no, because he’s only trying to be nice; he doesn’t actually mean it; and it’s not what you deserve.

The thing is, though, the gentle way he’s looking at you makes you feel like your’re something precious; the softness of his words make the offer sounds so genuine, and temptation never tastes sweeter in your mouth. All of those things put together creates a storm within you, making you want to say yes, to rush over and kneel before him and ask him for so much more than he would ever give you.

 _Don’t,_ though. Don’t do that—any of that.

Save yourself some dignity, and the ability to walk out of this with your (sister’s) heart still intact instead of shattering on the floor in front of his feet when he inevitably rejects you.

In the end, however, your control may slip and you may say yes, anyway, because it’s late and you can’t quite remember the last time you had a good night sleep.

You can let yourself pretend, as you follow him upstairs, that this means more than just basic decency. You can continue to pretend, as you lie down on the bed in his guest room after bidding him goodnight, that he’s doing this because he likes you too, because he cares and wants you to be safe and happy and all those mushy feelings, instead of it being just another method to keep an eye on you.

You can pretend a lot more things, as sleep slowly washes over you. Like how there are more meanings behind his eyes every time he looks at you, every time he touches you, offering the comfort you never once asked for (with words). Like how you _are_ the reason behind his cute smile, or how that smile is preserved for you and only you.

You can pretend, and pretend, and let yourself hope, and then let disappointment engulfs you in its unforgiving embrace as you remind yourself that this is not real, that it will never be real because someone like him will never be with someone like you. It’s painful, sure; it’s unlike anything you’ve experienced before (and you’ve been through a whole fucking lot), but it’s also good for you. Disappointment keeps you grounded, keeps your head straight and clear; it reminds you of how cruel this world has been and will forever be, and how utterly lonely and miserable you are.

He’s good, and you’re bad. He’s got a heart of gold, and yours is stolen and rotten to the very core.

It just… will never be.

 

Step 6: Avoid him again

This step may not have been so successful the first time around, but you’ve lived and you’ve learned; you know what to do now. You also know that you can’t leave, that it isn’t an option for you—not that it has been an option before, anyway.

Stay away from him this time might be harder, as he seems to have attached himself to you. He’s everywhere you go; he calls you over more often; he always stands near you in all those pack meetings you still can’t excuse yourself out of.

It almost seems like he’s made it his personal mission to keep you close to him; keep you in his sight and care. It fills your head with delusions, with hopes, and sure, keeping your hopes up is good and disappointment is your friend and all, but you’re tired. It takes a lot out of you, to keep your feelings hidden, to keep masking your chemosignals and racing heart rate with sharp words. It takes a lot out of you to just be by him and not reach out and touch and make him yours, and lately, you’ve been finding yourself not wanting to hold back anymore.

So now, you don’t avoid him with the intention of keeping him out of your mind. You avoid him now to shield yourself from rejection, from all the hurt that will no doubt come once he realize how you feel for him. You avoid him because you don’t think you can come back from that, not like how you’ve come back from Hell.

You avoid him now, because your feelings are getting more visible everyday you spend near him (letting him get near you), and people are starting to notice. You may catch looks and gazes directed at you, of people watching you, observing you with curious eyes and then widened as they find what they didn’t think they would.

So you avoid him again. Stop answering his calls. Stay away from him. Keep your distance. Do all the things you’ve done in the first step but in tenfold. It won’t be easy, sure, but you can do it.

You have to.

 

Step 7: Confess

As it turns out, you can’t do it. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to you, considering how it turned out the first time around. Although this time, the fault doesn’t lie on you.

You haven’t seen him for days; you said no the last time he called and asked you to come over; you didn’t bother excusing yourself out of pack meetings anymore, you just straight up didn’t attend. You thought you might have finally been able to get away, for once, and you were actually planning to; to try one more time and see how that works out.

That is, until you find yourself standing in front of a certain True Alpha that your mind won’t allow you to forget, whose eyes are sharp and determined as he corners you where you’ve been hiding in the preserve for the last few days.

Here’s an outline of how the scene could potentially plays out and how you should react to it:

> He may ask you: “Where have you been?”
> 
> You should answer: “Around.”
> 
> (Your answer should be accompanied by a shrug. Make it as nonchalant as you can.)
> 
> He may then approach you further, and ask: “Why didn’t you answer my calls?”
> 
> You should answer: “Phone’s dead. Haven’t got the chance to charge it.”
> 
> Ask: “For three days straight?”
> 
> Answer: “Yeah.”
> 
> (Keep your answer succinct and curt. He isn’t supposed to mean anything to you, and your demeanor should portray it.)
> 
> Ask: “Have you been avoiding me?”
> 
> Answer: “Why would I be avoiding you?”
> 
> (Answering a question with another question is a great tactic to avoid subjects you don’t want to talk about.)
> 
> Ask: “Can you please just tell me what’s going on with you?”
> 
> Answer: “Maybe I just don’t want to see you.”
> 
> (Don’t flinch when he does. Remind yourself that you want this. You want him to leave you alone so your heart doesn’t burst out of your chest and fall into his warm hands.)
> 
> Ask: “Are you— are you leaving?”
> 
> Answer: “Maybe I am.”
> 
> (Honesty sometimes is the best answer.)

Except… maybe it isn’t, as you may be let standing there and watching his face as the disbelief bloom, fester, and nosedive into anger, then concern, then utter hurt once what you just said really sinks it, and… it isn’t fair.

It isn’t fair when he takes a step closer to you, his brown eyes gleaming under the afternoon sun, and says something like ‘don’t leave, please’.

It isn’t fair because you don’t deserve this. You know you’ve done bad things in the past, but you don’t deserve to be treated like this. You are, by no means, a good person, but you’re trying, dammit; you’ve been trying so hard every single day since the moment Hell released you from its vengeful grasp, because he makes you _want_ to be good.

He brings out a lot of good things in you, and you haven’t been hiding—haven’t been masking away the way you feel for him so he must have known. He must have realized it, and now he is using it against you. He knows that you can’t turn him away when he’s looking at you like that—with tender brown eyes, making you feel like you’re something precious. He knows you won’t be able to say no when he’s using that voice—so sweet and soft that you actually believe he means it.

He doesn’t get to play with your emotions like that. He doesn’t get to act like he cares so damn much, making you feel all sorts of things that aren’t true as you know—you _fucking know_ —you’re not any more special than the rest of the people in this fucking town that hates your guts.

It has been a long day. You’re tired, completely exhausted both physically and mentally, and you don’t want to deal with this anymore. You don’t want to hide, or to even carry all these emotions inside you anymore. You’ve had enough of pretending, of being disappointed by your own daydreams, of feeling so much yet showing so little.

You’re tired, and angry, and just _done_ , so you let him know. You let him know how you feel about him, everything from the first moment you realized it yourself, to this very point where it’s grown into a storm raging over every dark corner of your mind. You let him know how he’s too good for you, that you know what he’s going to say to all of this, and because of that, you need to leave.

You need to leave and get away from all of this. From this town, from all the bad memories you’ve had to it, and most importantly, from him. You _need_ to leave, right now, as you turn around and get into your car without waiting for a response from him.

There are a few things you will learn by doing this:

  * A chimera’s speed and strength are truly nothing compared to a(n) enraged/confused/motivated True Alpha werewolf’s;
  * Just because someone who seems so kind and sweet and gentle all the time does not mean they can’t be so aggressive and able to pin you down just by sheer force;
  * You can’t break free no matter how hard you try;
  * You don’t want to try;
  * Just as he doesn’t want you to leave.



You hold your breath for a second, then two, then three, and time slows before freezing still all around you—around the two of you—-as you proceed to the next step, which is:

 

Step 8: Realize you no longer have a crush on him

You don’t realize it as he leans forward inch by slow inch until his lips meet yours, and time started again. You don’t realize it as his lips move against yours, languidly, gently, with first-time-awkwardness mixed in with an eagerness to explore, to memorize and master.

You don’t realize you no longer have a crush on a certain True Alpha of Beacon Hills anymore when he pulls back slowly, his beautiful brown eyes opening to meet your hesitant ones, and says something like ‘don’t leave, _please_ ’.

No, you realize it when you nod your head without even thinking about it; when he takes in your answer and smiles, bright and happy and mesmerizing with those dimples on his cheeks. You realize it the same time you realize that you are the reason behind that smile, that maybe—just _maybe_ —he preserves that smile for you and only you.

You realize that, over the times you’ve spent with him—all the nights he’s called you over to watch a movie or just to sit and chat about nothing at all; all the missions he’s chosen to team up with you; all the Annoying Questions he kept asking you—that somewhere along the way, you’ve begun to fall in love.

Or, maybe it’s always been like this, from the first moment you laid your eyes on him back when you two were just children, the moment he offered you his inhaler and comforted you through your asthma attack. Maybe it’s been hidden deep beneath all the years of trauma and torture and whatever else life has put you through. Maybe it’s always been there, and it only kept growing and growing and growing, until you’re here now, safe and warm and content as he holds you in his arms like you’re something precious. Like you _are_ precious. To him.

If fear and doubt infest your mind, here are a few things to think about, to remind yourself why staying is the best option for you:

  * You, as he’s been trying to say many times in so many words, are very special to him;
  * Everybody in this town hates you, but that’s okay because _he_ doesn’t;
  * He wants you here;
  * He would worry like Hell if you leave;
  * He might even come looking for you and drag your ass back;
  * You won’t ever be able to forget him, not after this, as he won’t be able to forget you either;
  * That isn’t what you’ve been working for;
  * But it’s something you truly want.



The best thing to think about, though, is when he places a hand behind your neck and pulls you in for another kiss, tongue teasing over your lips, asking for entrance which you grant with a stutter of your breath. When he pulls back and asks you to come back home with him, and you say yes because you can and because you want to.

And that is it. You’ve done it, congratulations. You’ve gotten over your crush on a certain True Alpha of Beacon Hills. It’s great, isn’t it? Let’s move on to the next step:

 

Step 9: Be happy, for once

Now, this step truly isn’t hard at all. It isn’t hard when you’re waking up next to him; when he kisses you or touches you in ways that you’ve only dreamt of before. It’s definitely not hard when you lean into his loving kiss or his gentle touch, and catch the stutter in his heartbeat, serving as a testament that you are not alone in this. (You’re really not.)

(You will never have to be again.)

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings:
> 
> “Absolute trash. Like its author.” - MyNameIsBiles, rated -6/5  
> “instructions unclear; almost killed my alpha.” - angerybeta2, rated 2/5  
> “Intense.” - masonjar5, rated 3.5/5  
> “I don’t get it?” - icanturninvisiblecanyou, rated 3.5/5  
> “Wtf this dont work at all.” - coyotegal, rated 1/5  
> “This wouldn't have existed at all if any characters mentioned (or alluded to) in it would have just gotten their heads out of their asses sooner and kissed like any normal human beings with feelings would. Overall, nice piece. I enjoyed it.” - wailingbanshee, rated 3/5 (liked by MyNameIsBiles)  
> “I especially like the last step.” - imthetruealpha, rated 5/5


End file.
